the fragility of life

this past week has been crazy for me.  i spent the early part of the week putting my fermenting hat back on.  it's been almost 2 years since i've actively fermented foods.  if you don't know much about fermentation, you should. sandor katz has one of the best and easiest to understand fermentation books on the market, called wild fermentation.  right now i have raw milk kefir and water kefir bubbling in my kitchen.  i am also brewing kombucha and a blueberry soda.  i've got some sour beets going as well. 

on top of fermentation, i finally decided to dive into food preservation.  given the uncertain state of the world, the fact our power was out during irene for 26 hours, and that we live in rural maine, i've decided we need to get real about having some decent supplies on hand with winter approaching.  i heard from a woman at my acupuncturist office this week that she was without power for eleven days last year during an ice storm.  wow!  i was amazed.  so, i am on a journey of pressure canning. 

in the meantime, my sweet baby girl is a week shy of 8 months and sprouting her incisors.  this will be her fifth and sixth teeth.  on tuesday she started having sneezes and a runny nose.  she also had a little diaper rash.  i wasn't sure if she was coming down with a cold or a food allergy, after all i consumed a decent amount of peanut butter (which i never eat) during our power outage (we regretfully have an electric stove).  by the way, i should mention that i still exclusively breastfeed.  so i started dosing her up on briar rose and nux vomica.  yesterday it seemed she was better, the rash was gone. . .and i found myself coming down with a cold. 

on top of all of this, she is crawling all over the place and standing up against any surface she can.  she gets into every corner and crevice she can.  it's really amazing.  sometimes i look at her and i can see her as a young toddler.  and then i hear her cry and i can faintly hear the newborn still in her.  and then i am bathing her from behind and i can imagine her shoulders as a young adult. 

all of this got me thinking about the fragility of life.  we live in some a delicate world.  so many things are uncertain.  and to watch my little one creeping and crawling in places, it's hard to know when to step in for safety and when to let her explore and take a bit of a risk.  creating boundaries is so important, and coming from a place of respect and groundedness is key, and a bit of a struggle. 

well, four days later, my baby has a full blown bug of some sort.  i am sick as well.  and she vomited on me three times this morning.  the sensation of feeling her body heave and the fear in her eyes from that new experience was a rite of passage for me.  managing to get us both cleaned up and in the bed for restoration was a journey.  and so, here i lie, resting and praying for good health for both of us, and holding space for the power and fragility of all that is.