4.28.2011

so much things to say. . .

. . .and not enough time!  being a new mother is amazing.  so far, it's hands down the most exciting and rewarding experience i have ever had.  to hold this being that grew within, magically was born and lives and breathes is pretty spectacular! 

i have always been one to value time and realize how sacred it is.  as the years pass and i age, it seems time speeds faster and faster.  i think we all experience this sensation as we age.  and i also think this sensation happens now because we are literally living in a faster world, with so much of our lives in a digital realm that didn't even exist thirty years ago.

since the birth of my child time has become even more sacred.  every moment with her is amazing!  i remember when the night she was born i laid awake and stared at her all night long.  every time i closed my eyes, i had to open them again to look at her beautiful body and sweet face.  these feelings often wash over me. . .she is almost four months now and so much has changed.  she smiles and is so strong her body, she loves to banter back and forth, grabs, and her body holds the sweetest fat rolls.  i wish i could log every moment and capture so much through photographs, journals and videos.  however, i want more than anything to be present for her, as much as possible.  totally present. . .not talking on the phone and holding her. . .or reading a book and breastfeeding. . .or looking at her through a lens. 

however, since there is only so much time in one day, and i have to do things in the world besides be in a baby cocoon, there are times i have to multitask.  it's such a challenge to find that perfect balance.  and really there is no perfect, it is all just one big flow, and about being flexible in the flow.

so, back to the beginning of this post:  there is so much to say and do and track and record, and not nearly enough time.  so how to cope?  well, i am figuring it all out as i go, but what i am finding works best is to keep things as simple as possible.  to find the time to sit and enjoy the breath and squeals of my daughter, to watch her grow, to enjoy my food, to enjoy my husband, and to do less.  we westerners try to cram so much into a day.  doing less, putting down the phones, turning off the computers and televisions, getting out of the car and taking it slow are true ways to sit and enjoy the passing of time, and watch our children grow.



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